Top
10 Internet Predictions for 2012 "2012,
oh er. As if 2011 wasn’t bad enough, we have either a financial
armageddon to look forward to in the coming year or a real one if
the Mayans or Roland Emmerich are to be believed. On the bright
side though, if cataclysmic seismic shifts do begin to destroy our
planet, someone is bound to create an app for that. At least it’ll
be nice and easy to follow our progress into oblivion ... after
great deliberation and viewing many hours of internet related programming,
if ‘Rude Tube’ counts, are my Top 10 Internet Predictions
for 2012 ..." extremisreaction.wordpress.com (site accessed
Jan 2012)
Shocking
predictions for 2012 "Hello
friends, this is Scoopji here, letting you know that I have had
a spiritual breakthrough. Perhaps it is due to the fact that I have
been consuming massive amounts of a new herbal formula, "Chakra
Decongestant." ... Thirteen predictions follow, including:
" Prediction number 2: The Republican party, after looking
closely at its potential candidates will decide not to nominate
anyone for president next year. Instead, citing their ideological
determination to get rid of all government, the Republicans will
begin to campaign for "Nobody" for president, reminding
the American people, once again, that "Nobody is perfect"
and "Nobody knows the trouble you've seen," and of course,
"Nobody cares." Wes Nisker, huffingtonpost.com (site
accessed Dec 2011)
2012
at the Algonquin
It’s 2012 and it’s the end of the world.
If the ‘Shift’ doesn’t get you, the asteroids
will!
Nuclear fallout… no problem they say.
Financial meltdown… it’s just another Day!
Wall St. slobbers
at the trough from DC.
My Browser rat’s me out… to the Powers That Be!
Aliens lurking, or False Flags for fools.
Doesn’t matter to me, I’m a Capitalist Tool!
Head in the
sand… hey it’s gonna be alright.
Radiation too much? Sun gettin’ too bright?
I love a good ending, I might even cry.
But this one is different… Hey, I might Fry!
Organic’s
a gonner… who needs it anyway!
I can sleep at night knowing…
they’ve got my DNA!
Beam me up Scotty
-- second thought… I’ll stay.
HAARPin’ about ending’s is no fun anyway.
Mars is an option, I could use a vacation.
Cause if the Big One hits, it’s a whole new nation!
The future ain’t
what the past might be.
Looking Glass doorways confuse the hell outta’ me.
I mean the worlds gone crazy, it’s easy to see.
But I can’t even argue, cause I’m glued to TV!
Thinkin’
about this stuff is just too profound.
I’m buyin’ a Silo… move my act underground!
Second thought, I can’t do that… I don’t qualify.
My Credit Score’s tanked… around 355!
Separation’s
a drag as far as I can see.
Everything ends… before I can flee!
Even bein’ a ‘person’ ain’t what it used
to be.
Now they tell me I’m crazy for thinking I’m ‘me’!
Only
one last option as far as I can see.
When all else fails… I may as well just be...
Robert
McCoy 7/4/11
Why
the Mayans REALLY stopped the calendar in 2012 (cartoon).
M Magnan (site accessed May 2011)
Smart
"2012" Channelers Want to Know: Do Their Interdimensional
Sources Flunk Astronomy? "Confused
by the astronomical alignments mentioned by channelers of 2012 information?
The problem is that many transdimensional beings who channel that
information don't know basic astronomy. Some are con artists who've
even fooled such notables as John Major Jenkins, Solara An-Ra, and
Daniel Pinchbeck, as you'll see in this video." YouTube
(site accessed Jan 2011)
2012:
Apocalypse insurance "Why
worry about all the different things that may happen on December
21st, 2012? Sure, the world might end! There have been numerous
predictions that say it will! But the 2012 Apocalypse Insurance
Company is here to provide you with the peace of mind you deserve
as the clock ticks down to what could be earth's final day! ...."
(site accessed Apr 2010)
2012
in a nutshell Cartoon. nerdnirvana.org
(site accessed Feb 2010)
Choose
your 2012 End of World game "Play
Choose Your 2012 End of The World game and decide whether or not
Nostradamus or any of the other world ending prophecys will come
true. Choose a country to let loose your godly fury on how the earth
should end. Unlock more powers and gain achievements." izismile.com
(site accessed May 2009)
The
world wnds in 2012 Not
a typing error on my part. That's what it says on the site. Brief
cartoon video about the end of the world. www.guzer.com
Geddon
Gear - The official sponsor of the 2012 apocalypse
At Geddon Gear, we believe that the end of the world does
not mean you should abandon all hope. Geddon Gear will be the only
store prepared to provide you with quality post appocaleptic gear
to help you cope and defend yourself from certain death...and aliens.
Geddon Gear plans to open store fronts globally to help assist you
in a post apocalyptic world. Unfortunately, we need your help. As
much as we would like to open these stores and fleece you of your
hard earned money we first need to solicit your input. geddongear.com
(site accessed Feb 2009)
November
2012: A dystopian dream "It
is November 7 2012. At three in the morning, an exhausted-looking
President Barack Obama appears before weeping supporters in the
ballroom of the Chicago Hilton and concedes defeat. The euphoria
of his victory-night speech in Grant Park four years earlier is
a distant memory. The Obama administration has been overwhelmed
by America’s economic problems. Sarah Palin is the new president
of the US ..." gideon rachman, ft.com (site accessed Feb
2009)
Bearman
Cartoon: 2012 and the End of Days AGAIN Asks
if this is the first cartoon to poke fun at 2012. bearmancartoons.wordpress.com
(site accessed Jan 2009)
Obama
2012: Four Years Later "It's
hard to believe that just four years ago, some were talking about
Barack Obama as a national savior, a secular redeemer, a "light
worker." Even more shocking, President Obama lost the nomination
of his own party to none other than Hillary Clinton. How did we
get here? There
are no shortage of recriminatory theories for President Obama's
precipitous fall from would-be messiah, to near pariah ..."
nypost.com (site accessed Nov 08)
An
interview with McCain and Obama in 2012 "President
John McCain has refused to give interviews or meet with the press
throughout his entire term as president. Until now. Since Cracked.com
is now the only reliable source of news in America, and since I am
Cracked’s Senior Political Correspondent, President McCain has
been kind enough to sit down with me for this very rare interview.
I enter the Oval Office, and he is already waiting for me. He looks
about 50 years older than he did when he took office and a thousand
times more tired ... President Barack Obama goes on television to
address the nation, on average, six times a day. While President Obama
is certainly visible to the point of aggravation, he’s (shockingly)
given very few interviews. Since Cracked.com is now the only reliable
source of news in America, and since I am Cracked’s Senior Political
Correspondent, President Obama has been kind enough to skip his post-Brunch
State of the Union address to sit down with me for this very rare
interview. I enter the Oval Office, and he is seated while an artist
diligently paints his portrait ..." interviews follow these alternative
introductions. cracked.com (site accessed Oct 2008)
NASA:
Sun will burn out in 2012 "
... even though the new findings are grim, Groverfield insisted the
news wasn’t all bad. “The
upside to losing the sun is that we no longer need to worry about
global warming,” he pointed out. “In fact, it might be
prudent now to start increasing greenhouse gas emissions.” Former
vice president and climate change kingpin Al Gore denounced NASA’s
findings, and said that a solution for the global warming problem
that doesn’t involve a carbon tax is irresponsible ..."
sirsatire.wordpress.com (site accessed Sep 2008)
The
New Age Party of 2012 "One
can envision a New Age Party, a fascistic, sparkling ooze of white
lighties, taking over the world. Led by sorts like Eckhart Tolle and
Wayne Dyer, they lobotomize anyone whom they deem as having egos,
or send them to "re-education" camps, where the victims
are slotted away into lightless cubicles where, like Room 23 in "Lost,"
they are force-fed a continual stream of Celine Dion, images of lakes
at sunset, yoga poses, Gandhi and Rumi quotes, lectures on "enactivism"
by Ken Wilber, and, between electro-shocks to their gonads, a looped
recording of the mindless "Questions and Reflections" found
on Gaia.com. thepiertoforever.blogspot.com (site accessed Sep
08)
Rudy's
Brilliant Strategy: The Race for 2012, When Time Ends "I'm
disappointed that Rudy Giuliani dropped out of the GOP race. But after
intensely gazing at my navel for hours on end, I realized he has in
fact run a brilliant, long-term campaign geared NOT for 2008 but for
2012. Rudy,
I am firmly convinced, is positioning himself to be the president-elect
on The Day That Time Ends. Surely you've heard of it? ..." keshertalk.com
(site accessed Feb 08)
2012:
Penguins world domination " ...
Unfortunally , we were unable to get more info about this weird story.
The only pieces we got are "penguin, domination, 2012" ...
Jeremy Courtyard, g-modders.com (site accessed Jan 08)
Dispatch
from 2012 "Good-evening
from FXSF News. We have a ground-breaking report tonight from Future
Correspondent Samantha Oh, who has time-traveled to the year 2012
to report exclusively to us on the next presidential race. Sam, hello,
can you hear me? ..." Carla Norton, whirledview.typepad.com
(site accessed Jan 2008)
2012
Olympics may be cancelled after European Commission legal challenge "
The London
Olympics scheduled for 2012 may have to be cancelled if the European
Commission is successful in the legal challenge it is bringing against
the UK government ..." Everyman, thespoof.com (site accessed
Jan 2008)
