The way that we speak says a lot about our personalities, and in turn, create distinct vibes. When you’re talking to a woman, you don’t want to create an uncomfortable atmosphere. You want to create a feeling of affirmation and positivity. This is the power of positive and negative language – what you want to do or don’t want to do. Speaking in statements comprised solely of affirmative statements, rather than negatives, can be difficult. It’s a very effective way to draw a woman to you, though, and worth attempting.
Negative language only serves to create a negative, oppressive atmosphere. A potent way to prevent negative thoughts from pervading your conversation and the mood is to counter negative statements with positive ones, according to HuffingtonPost.com. For example, if you’re at a party, when she asks if you like the food at the party, instead of saying you don’t like the mushrooms, pick something you do like. Don’t default to complaints. Not only does it make you look like high maintenance and childish, but it’s also insulting to your host. However, the same principle goes if you’re in a Toronto bar or club. When people complain and especially guys, it sounds very whiny and unappealing to just about anyone around you. By keeping up the habit of positive, affirmative speech, you’ll be far more pleasant to be around. Although a few well placed, sarcastic jokes are all well and good, don’t go overboard. If you complain about something in the first conversation you ever have with a woman, she’s not going to want to continue to talk to you. Whether you’re looking for flings for married people or just your average single lady, mastering language and how it shapes a conversation is a useful skill.
Going beyond negative language are also general words that women don’t like. Some of them might surprise you, but it’s true. Here are a few tips for when positive and negative language opportunities come up and how you can re-phrase to.
A Can Do Attitude
People constantly use the “I can’t” expression to claim that they’re unable to do something. There are two ways to combat the negative impression this gives. One is to rephrase if you really can’t do something, and say that you can do something else. For example, if you’re looking for flings with married people and your hookup gets tired of being the other woman, don’t say that you can’t tell your wife the truth. Instead, say that you’re happy you can talk about your life with your fling and you enjoy her company. Try not to use the “can’t” word.
“Babes” Sleep in Cribs
We’ve all done it – used a word for a woman that sounds a little cheesy or is considered somewhat sexist. Babes, hotties, chicks, girls, tail. Whatever your preferred word, women don’t like this. The vast majority of them find it insulting, but because it’s so expected from men, half the time they don’t even bother correcting us. If it gets excessive they’ll say something, but every time one of these words is uttered, you can rest assured that you’re pissing off the lady you’re with. In fact, if you’re on the other side of the equation, this is one of the reasons that flings with married people happen in the first place. Women get sick of their husbands saying these words, so they go out looking for something better that doesn’t drive them crazy. Get ahead of the game and be aware of what you’re saying. Not only will avoiding words for women other than “women” prevent you from falling victim to these follies, it will even win you points. Women notice when you make an effort to be respectful and it’s usually a major turn-on for them.
Bragging Rights: Denied
You might be the hottest guy in Toronto and in great demand by the female population. However, if you tell a woman that, she’s going to laugh in your face. You might have hooked up with five different ladies last week, but talking about it isn’t going to make her think you’re virile. Bragging just makes you come off as conceited and obnoxious. At the same time, you also want to let her know that you’re desirable and accomplished. The way to handle this situation is to understand the difference between bragging and subtly building up your image.
When you first start talking to a woman, don’t go into the conversation focusing on yourself. Ask about her, and let her lead. This is a surefire way to at least get a conversation going, and once you’re talking, it’s easier to progress. Ask her questions, and let her sing her own praises first. After that, it’s ok to go ahead and share the fact that you got a promotion last month. The key to conveying your accomplishments is context. If you just burst out with the information that you have a really nice car and enjoy going on dates to fancy restaurants, she’s not going to care. You’ll come off as full of yourself. Instead, insert that information subtly into the conversation.
Let’s say you meet a woman who’s a foodie and you start talking about cooking. You can’t just announce that you want to take her out to dinner at the most expensive place in Toronto. Instead, slip in that you went to a high end restaurant last weekend, and give her your opinion on the entree you ordered. This camouflages the that you’re trying to let her know you’ve got some taste and resources by focusing on the subject of the conversation, and not on the fact that you ate there at all. Talk around the impressive parts of your life you want to highlight, and just let them hang there. She’ll remember, and she’s probably already taking mental notes about the little details you’re throwing in.
The Difference Between Requests and Demands
One of the most common measuring sticks for women while dating of a man’s demeanor is how you treat animals and wait staff. For this reason, be careful about the differences between requests and demands, and especially in regard to the woman you’re seeing. Demanding guys are unappealing to women and come off more like children than men. Women don’t want to date a giant boy. They want a man who can carry himself properly and calmly obtain what he wants with calm requests, and not demands.
For example, if you take a woman to dinner on a date, you’re going to be ordering food and dealing with service. It may not be satisfactory, and you may need to be critical or request things. It might be completely fine, but be prepared to speak the right way. If you start ordering wait staff around in front of your date and being rude, there’s a good chance she might just walk out on her own. When a man makes demands, it also gives off the even more damaging impression that he can’t get what he wants without force. On the other hand, if you can get your own way by being slick and presenting requests firmly, you seem like you’re in control. Women like a man in control since its steadying.
Leave the angry demands at home, and handle yourself with politeness and a firm request. You’ll sweep her off her feet. To get more tips on fling dating online, visit flingsitereviews.ca, read a real review of a website to make a decision.